for boogiedown

[emberossing]

He knows it's going to be a disaster the moment he sets foot on the ice.

He's been trying. Celestino knows that he's been trying, everyone in Detroit knows he's been trying. He's at the rink more than he isn't. He's skating more than he sleeps. He's gotten back down to competition weight... more or less... and he's dedicated as anyone can be. But his heart's not in it and anyone who looks at his skating can tell that.

Jumps have never been where he got his points at.

His short program had been a disaster and he's not known for pulling out of those and he doesn't here, either. It's one of the worst free programs he's ever skated and he barely makes it out of the kiss and cry without the crying part... except once he can escape to the locker room or a bathroom or wherever he can manage to get alone, he's more left feeling completely numb. He tries to feel anything and there's nothing at all. There's nothing left.

Comments

[boogiedown]

It's a smashing success from the second Minami takes the ice.

Not just any ice - Nationals ice, the same ice as his idol. How long has he worked for this? To get to Seniors, to compete with Katsuki Yuuri?! Minami's so swept up in it he forgets to worry about anything else. It all just - flows. Even his Triple Axel combo, bright and clear in a way he's never felt before.

And then it's his name on the top of the board.

It's been a whirlwind after, congratulations and hugs, climbing higher then he ever has. Gold on the podium. The crowd roaring. Minami still can't believe it, has to keep touching the medal to make sure it's real.

He's only ducked into the locker room because he's forgotten his bag in the chaos. Everyone else is already at the reception.

"Ah - K-Katsuki?!"

[emberossing]

He doesn't actually turn around right away, he's so caught up in his own thoughts, but then he does and he turns to look at Minami with a completely neutral expression on his face. It's not exactly a great reception from his idol on any level, but Yuuri just can't manage... anything right now. Minami, unfortunately, probably doesn't understand that this is actually likely a better reception than he might have otherwise gotten, with Yuuri running away.

"Oh, I didn't know anyone else was here," and then, because Yuuri is still polite, "Congratulations." He can't sound excited about it, but he can at least not be a total asshole.

[boogiedown]

"Thank you!"

The coolness of the reception does not dampen Minami one bit. The euphoria of winning increasing his natural cheer, to the point where he may actually be sparkling. Also? He has completely forgotten about the bag because Yuuri is actually looking at him.

He has to clutch both hands together over his heart. Just to make sure it doesn't come pounding out of his chest.

"I - Oh wow - It's - really amazing to meet you!!!"

[emberossing]

"Is it?" he can't help but sound very skeptical about that, almost hurt. Yuuri doesn't realize that he's probably coming off like some kind of suave older man rather than whatever it is that he is right now. Usually, people liking him makes him nervous, but right now there's just... nothing.

"It's... Kenjirou, isn't it?" also maybe not as polite as he could have been. Minami is unlikely to notice.

[boogiedown]

It sounds incredibly cool. Yuuri must be used to people coming up to him, right?!

Hearing his own name gets an astonished squeak from Minami. He plops down on the bench. There hasn't exactly been an invitation, but after the competition and this shock his legs refuse to hold out any more!

"You know who I am?!"

That probably sounds silly. He did just win Nationals in his first year at Senior level. But he's gaping at Yuuri. As if this is somehow the most unbelievable part of tonight.

[emberossing]

Confusion makes it through the haze of other things Yuuri is feeling (or not-feeling),

"Well you just wiped the floor with me, so it's a bit hard to not know who you are," it's not something he would normally say but he's not out of fucks so much as he is someplace out in space where he can merely see all of the fucks from an extreme distance. Still, even he knows that was rude,

"I should know your name-- you're pretty obviously the future of Japanese figure skating."

Which should have been him. But he's not even sure he ever wants to put his skates back on, currently.

[boogiedown]

"You had a bad night!!! I know I'll have to work really, really hard for next time!"

Suddenly Minami finds himself strung between two very strange points. He is thrilled about winning. However, Yuuri had not been in the game. Not really. Anyone could tell that! And Minami is enough of a fanboy to know about Vicchan, how much the Grand Prix hurt. It's incredible Yuuri still went out there!

Minami wants to win.

But he wants to beat Yuuri at his best, not when he's sad! (It hurts to see him sad, in a way Minami could never have expected. Like there's a gaping hole in his own chest.)

He balls his fists up, determination radiating out of him. Okay! Operation Cheer Up Idol is a GO!

"But - I - I've known your name since I was nine! You're amazing and - and - and I can't believe you're saying mine??!?"

[emberossing]

"Next time..." he doesn't know what to say to that. He's not sure there's going to BE a next time. But it's not so much not hurting Minami's feelings or anything so much as he's not ready to say something like that out loud. He's depressed and doesn't want to skate anymore, but he's also a really sore loser and he really doesn't want it to end like this, either. He doesn't know what he wants, and that's the problem. Neither option seems feasible, right now.

It takes him a wretchedly long time from Minami's point of view to process the rest of that sentence, to understand what he's saying, and then he flushes, looks away,

"Since you were nine? Really?" god, now he's even more mortified about the poor showing. All of these people looking up to him and he couldn't even land a quad for them. This is awful.

[boogiedown]

Except that clearly hasn't changed how Minami feels. Quad or no, he's still beaming. Eyes bright, wanting to talk about Yuuri. Not his own medal.

Maybe Minami should be picking up on the mortification. On the other hand, people with more social awareness would have backed off by now. Leaving Yuuri to wallow, instead of pouring out sunshine.

"Yeah! I saw you in the Prague Exhibition! In Lohengrin! You were the only one from Japan, it was so cool!!! I didn't know skating could look - Pretty? Bright? Mom got me skates because I kept talking about it!"

[emberossing]

"Lohengrin," he winces, but it's probably too quick to catch. He'd hated that routine, hated the costume, but he'd been too shy to stand up for what he'd really wanted and it wasn't as though he skated any better when it was something he cared about. That was definitely a low point for him, mechanically going through the jumps. It had been a pretty high scoring routine, though, and he actually does know what Minami means by "bright" when he skated it. It was... sharper than he normally would have skated.

"I'm... surprised that that would have been an inspiration to anyone. But um. I'm glad that it was," he's known for being a standoffish skater, someone who doesn't talk a lot to anyone. But he's also never had anyone just... barrel through all of that and not take his silences and reticence for an answer and so he's not sure what to do with Minami.

Most people would have picked up that they were annoying him by now or that he wanted to be alone, and left.

Minami is not annoying him. He doesn't want to be alone. He just doesn't know how to ask for anyone to stay.

I hate that costume too Yuuri it's okay *pats*

[boogiedown]

"It was!"

His parents had thrown their hyperactive youngest into one sport after another, trying to burn his energy. But who would have looked at a bouncing, klutzy kid and thought 'Yes. Let's give him knife shoes.'?

It was Yuuri who'd really opened it up. Steady performance in Juniors, climbing to Seniors, always ahead. Japan's strongest skater in at least ten years. Watching him, Minami knew he wanted to work for that. Skating focused things, in a way he'd never felt. And it began with seeing Lohengrin. You don't forget the second you fall in love with the ice. Or the person who gives it to you.

Minami doesn't know how to say all that - but maybe some of it shines through anyway. He certainly doesn't want to leave!

"I didn't - don't - love anything like I love this!!!"

[emberossing]

"Well... um... good?" he's not sure if that's good, isn't sure what to say, "I'm glad you've found something like that."

He feels like he should say something motivating here, something about never giving up on your dreams or something else. But he's so far from that point right now that he doesn't even know what to say, so he just kind of ends up staring.

[boogiedown]

Minami is kind of bouncing. He may or may not have an entire LIST of questions for Yuuri. You know. Just in case they ever did manage to talk. And okay, he kind of pictured it happening out by the rink. Really casual, and he'd be really cool about it and not freak out all over the place -

Which he is absolutely not doing! This is fine too! Even if his face feels way hotter then normal, whenever he catches Yuuri's eye.

"How did you find it?! Being able to skate like you do?!"

[emberossing]

Minami is... weirdly infectious with the cheer, to the point where even Yuuri can't stay completely dour. He hasn't done very many interviews beyond the post-skate ones, so there's not much information about him out there. But he's not adverse to sharing the information more like this, even if he's never been able to do so in a more formal setting,

"Ah... it sounds like kind of the same way you did," however, his mind doesn't make the more immediately obvious connection here, "By watching someone a little bit older than me skate. But I don't... really know if there's anything special about the way I skate."

[boogiedown]

Minami blanches. Oh no! No one is allowed to talk badly about Yuuri's skating around him! Not even Yuuri himself. He maybe leans in a little closer, determined to make the point. With proximity! Or something!

"What???!? You love it! You work so hard, anyone can see that!"

Anyone with a maybe slightly obvious crush eyes, anyway! Minami jumps up. Holding his arms out, miming a spin. Is he - channeling Yuuri? Trying to, anyway! Show how graceful it is, every move deep and thoughtful.

"I wish I could land a triple axel like yours! I usually fall!!!"

[emberossing]

He can't help but laugh at that, the motion is so startling and Minami is just so... over the top. It feels... weirdly good, like something's shaken loose in his chest, even though the laugh itself is quiet and subdued.

"Hard work isn't always enough, though," he says, quietly, and it's maybe a little more upset sounding than he wants to be with a competitor, but he really is kind of falling apart since the GPF. "But I'm sure you'll get there," he adds, just in case Minami somehow thinks that's aimed at him.

This kid I swear

[boogiedown]

Minami beams back. Pleased to have such a positive response! It is at full wattage, making even the dreary locker room fluorescents more friendly.

"Yeah, I know! But you don't get anywhere without it! So you should try, right?!!"

It made sense in his head! Maybe not so much out loud. But he is punching the air and striking a Determined Pose. That makes any speech super-effective, right?

[emberossing]

"Yeah. You should," or Minami should, anyway. Yuuri is still undecided. Still... it's hard to be too depressed with someone with that level of energy cheering you on, even if Yuuri doesn't feel like he's anywhere near the man Minami seems to think he is. Later, this may well be a reminder of how many people he's let down and disappointed, but right now, it's helpful. He even manages another soft little smile, just for Minami.

[boogiedown]

Minami bounces up on his toes. Warmth curling in his stomach, from seeing that smile. He finds himself wanting to see it a lot more. Okay! Phase One of the plan successful! Time for Phase Two!

Just... as soon as he figures out what that IS...

"Hang on! I'll be right back!!!"

'Right Back' is about five minutes or so.

[emberossing]

It's long enough that Yuuri's sure he's been forgotten about, which isn't surprising or particularly more depressing than he already is, so he just finishes changing into his street clothes.

This does mean Minami is going to get an eyeful of muscled back when he returns, Yuuri just pulling on a t-shirt as he gets back.

[boogiedown]

There is a startled squeak from the doorway. Whenever he turns Yuuri's going to find Minami frozen in place. Trying to process the wonder he has just seen, cheeks bright.

Then there's a sharp head shake, and he holds up his prize. Two plates of cake snuck out of the banquet! They're even both corner pieces, a high-skill level indeed!

"Here! I didn't know if you like vanilla or chocolate better!"

[emberossing]

"Oh, uh, sorry. I figured you probably got held up so I was just going to... go," it's maybe a little more pathetic than he wanted to be, but he's pretty pathetic right now and wanting doesn't change that. His face lights up at the slice of cake, though.

He doesn't deserve katsudon, but there's no rule about cake. And, honestly, he's not even sure he wants to ever get on the ice again, so... what's a little indulgence, right? It's not like it matters if he gets fat.

He takes the chocolate piece, with a smile that doesn't really quite reach his eyes but seems genuine enough,

"Thank you very much for bringing it to me," it's overly formal, there's almost a little bow, but he sits down with the cake, doesn't seem like the formality is hiding him not wanting it, "But... don't you need to get back?" he manages a more tender smile, it sits better on his face, "You're the man of the hour, after all."

[boogiedown]

"You're welcome!"

Minami can't help his face falling when Yuuri makes the choice. BUT! Vanilla is almost as good! Really! The grin returns to full wattage and he plops down again. Maaaaaybe a little closer to Yuuri then last time.

"I know! But - I - Idon'twantyoutogo!"

This whole night is unreal. And this is the most unbelievable thing of all. Since it's Minami's night - he can be allowed to stretch this out a little more, right? Whatever this warm, bubbling feeling is? He takes a bite of cake, frosting smearing around his mouth.

Yup. Even the vanilla is fantastic.

[emberossing]

Yuuri looks at him in disbelief, but everything is still muted, quiet in his head, far away. It's not healthy, he knows-- it's like he's looking at his emotions through glass. Or through ice. But it's... quiet. He's not nervous, talking to Minami, not really, not at the intensity he would normally be.

"Well. You did win gold. I guess you can spend your party with whoever you like," he manages a little smile, and then takes a bite of the cake. It's good cake. Or maybe it's just that he hasn't had cake in a while. There's a noise, maybe, that he makes, about how good the cake is. He doesn't think anything of it.

And then he replays the look on Minami's face when he picked the chocolate,

"Here, give me your fork a second," he uses the side of it to slice off a bit of the chocolate cake and holds it back out to Minami, also without thinking about it. Phichit and he do this kind of thing all the time, and he kind of forgets that he's in Japan and not Detroit.

[boogiedown]

Minami just kind of gapes at him a second. Not long enough for Yuuri to pull the offering! Just long enough for him to see the gears spinning. Running all the things this could mean, if you've only ever lived in Japan, if you're buzzing from winning and meeting your idol and sitting close enough to -

Well. Eat a from the same plate he is.

And then Minami leans forward, taking the bite from the fork. Eyes shimmering bright as he swallows. This is it. He's about to snap awake. Find out the whole thing was a dream! It doesn't fade, though. Instead the chocolate spreads rich and dark in his mouth. He lets out a small noise of surprise, because this has to be the best cake in the universe.

"It's really good," he proclaims. Eyes shimmering. He's - sort of forgotten to lean back again.